Cherwell IT Service Management Blog
Resources, Best Practices, and Solutions for ITSM Pros

Express Metrix Customer Haikus

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We were so impressed by the response to our recent customer Haiku contest (held in honor of Customer Appreciation Month) that I felt compelled to publish an additional blog post featuring some of our other favorite Haikus, whose authors have been awarded honorable mentions.

If you don’t see your Haiku here, it’s not because we didn’t love it! It’s possible that it didn’t adhere to the strict definition of Haiku (3 lines comprised of 5-7-5 syllables), or we simply ran out of ideas for awards. Keep practicing, and next year you could be our big winner!

Winner of Kindle 3G Wi-Fi

Overall Best in Show: Steve Peretti, Chief Leschi Schools

Tech-know-logy soars

Drowning in inventory

A-ah, Express Metrix

Honorable Mentions


Best Use of “Kireji”: Justin Hughes, Ontario System

Striving against licenses,

Winter of our discontent,

Express lights the gloom

Best Product Feature Request Disguised as a Haiku: Caroline Dao, Group MacKenzie

oh express metrix

makes me login every time

why does it do that

Ebenezar Scrooge-iest: James Deitrick, Meggitt

Haikus can be fun.

Except when they don’t make sense.

Bah Express Metrix.

Words Most Likely To Be Spoken by Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne, The Matrix): Joey Officer, iStream FS

Me, tracking software

Monitoring, Listening

I see everything


Words Least Likely to Be Spoken by an SCCM Customer: John Riley, Seven Corners, Inc.

Tracking our software

Has never been this easy.

Compliance assured.


First-Ever Use of the Words “Express” and “Cowbell” in a Single Sentence: Jonas Cail, MRIS

More servers than sense

Audit, fearing the reaper

Express is cowbell

Best Employee Attempt at Winning a Kindle for Himself: Lance Kuykendall

An I.T. Buddha

Seeks license enlightenment

from reports console

Happiest: Sunny Nequette, Avatar International

Express is best

Like sunny day at beach!

Machines all checked!

Best Use of Metaphors: Les Hutchins, QS1

A software bloodhound

Sniffing out compliance risks

Tracking users’ paths

Favorite Haiku that (Sadly) Wasn’t Quite a Haiku: Bob Herguth, Defense Microeclectronics Activity

Tally the software

Summer’s twilight whispers soft

Complexity gone


Best Haiku-Turned-Advertisement: James Johnson, Interwork Technologies

Knowledge is the KEY

Who is doing What and When

ESM – get it!


Most Existential: Art Chacon, Kirtland.AF.Mil

Hell at work is here

Programs make life easier

Harder yet it is


Best Use of Nature/Seasonal References: Michael Madden, Bottomline

Install leaves drift and rise

Cool winds of Express Metrix

Discovered this fall

Most Promising First-Time Poet: Wayne Rames, Shur-Co

fall behind darkness

tallying the stakes

dawn of relief

counting affections

lost in the trees

raked into harmony


Best (and Only!) Team Submission: Tim Nettleton (and team!), Guggenheim Insurance

Express is the Best

At finding installed software

So pirates we’re not

Pirates we once were

’til we found Express Metrix

Now we avoid jail

Fines for Piracy

tens of thousands of dollars

Safe now with Express

Express Metrix finds

The software that we install

So we’re compliant